It Was Right Here All Along
As a mother I have to keep track of everrryything. Adding the role of ‘wife’ to that, we have 2 times the work. Having both titles or even one or the other, we tend to be the ‘brain’ for life’s most common questions and detectives for everything lost.
“Where did I put my softball uniform”? “Have you seen my phone charger”? “I can’t find where I placed keys (which I lose every other day)”? “Where is my Barbie”? And soooo much more. Needless to say at the top of our job description is to keep track of everything for everyone….At. All. Times.
I actually thought that I was pretty good at it! Its rare that something goes missing and just cannot be found that same day, until a a few days ago when I was reminded of…. My toddlers tablet that went missing…
Literally as if it disappeared into thin air. No trace of it anywhere, not even the charger. She had it before choir practice, during choir practice, after choir practice….. but what is so faint to me is… did she have it when we walked in the door of our home?? Knowing my toddler, she wouldn’t allow us to leave a building without her tablet in hand. So, where could it possibly be. I created scenarios in my head, I literally turned the entire house upside down, I retraced our steps, I even looked in the car. This tablet (obviously with legs) is pretending as if it never even existed at this point.
A close friend of mine saw how mind-boggled I was and actually became confused herself on how it could just disappear. But one thing I remember clear as day, are the words that she spoke, “the reason why you can’t find it, is because you are looking so hard, it’s probably right in front of you”.
A week goes by and during that week, I disable the tablet. I even set an alarm on it so if it just so happened to turn on, it would notify me immediately. During this time I’m of course laying my request before God for this thing to turn up. Yes it may just be a toy to some, but this tablet is a great learning tool for her. It walks her through reading stories word by word, she has a STEM app which is amazing, and even helps her with colors, sounds, animal recognition and tons more! It is awesome learning tool.
As we were sitting and enjoying our afternoon, in the usual spots of relaxation on the couch, the sun peeking through the blinds, reflects off of something pink. Her tablet!! Thank God! How could I have not looked in the one spot that she so frequently sits in everyday. Like seriously?! It was right here all along! Right in familiar territory. Trust me, I had so many emotions. Instead of just being excited it was found, I was actually a little upset, bothered, frustrated, I wanted to punch the air (LOL!) ugghhh!!
After I collected my thoughts (ridiculous emotions), I started reflecting on the moment. None of the rollercoaster of emotions mattered. These were the emotions of the past that I brought into my present. What was being upset and frustrated in this moment going to solve? It was clear to me then that sometimes we harbor on these past emotions so long that we totally miss the Joyous occasions that are occurring in our present lives. I stopped myself from rejoicing by holding onto frustrations that at this point DID.NOT.MATTER.anymore. That moment only comes but for a moment and I caused myself to miss it.
“The joy in my daughters’ face after finding her utmost favorite prized possession could have been diminished if I had harbored on how stressful my week had been trying to find something that was there all along”
Then how would that make her feel? Our emotions can also cause others not to celebrate or take part in their own personal joyous occasion because of our own emotional obstruction. Instead of succumbing to the distress that I felt from searching tirelessly for an entire week, I decided to share in the Joy of what occurred the moment we pulled the tablet from the couch. No matter how in control we think we are or how great we are at knowing ‘everything’….we are reminded that we don’t have it all together.. and that’s ok!
God has subtle ways of nudging us to remind us that we aren’t perfect and we fall short. I also believe that He has a sense of humor! What I was searching for and losing sleep over was right here all along. It was tough for me for a split second to find joy in locating what I had been so diligently searching for all week. Why was that? I brought in all of the past emotions that I had already experienced. I repeat….past emotions… already experienced…in the past. Why did I bring them back up? Some times we harbor on the past and make a situation more than what it is, when the Answer to our frustration, worries, fears, concerns, uncertainties, anxiety, and muchhhhh more, has been in front of us all along. We tend to blame others, create situations of people wanting to harm us or make us suffer, when in our mind, we created our own suffering. God didn’t create us to be perfect. Yes we are good or even great at what we do however, he nudges us to remind us, We need Him.
He’s the answer and He was right there (and will be here) all along.
